we have officially lost it.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Turns out, his fucking is as lame and staggered as his NFL career.
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
