He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
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