Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
