would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
