Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
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