The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
