i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
