Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Ketchup is God's man juice
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
I mean seriously...It's like the universe is saying "your vagina is closed, move along"
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Randomize
