i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
