oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
