ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
On a scale of 1-10 I’m at biblical violence
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
