i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Randomize