i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Randomize
