its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Randomize
