They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
