i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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