i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
Randomize
