My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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