24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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