I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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