just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I got sriracha sauce on my mask while I was eating fast food, now wearing it makes me hungry
Randomize
