my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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