Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
someone get that fucking seahorse.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Randomize