Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
