speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
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