p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
So vagazzling was a success
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
