You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
