How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
