This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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