I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
