hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
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