Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
