Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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