You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
Randomize
