'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
