you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
