Already got asked if we're dating
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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