is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
