I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Houston, we have a squirter
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
