I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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