I can't breathe out the right side of my face
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
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