I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
Randomize
