she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
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