You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize