we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Randomize
