I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
