The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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