Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
My bed smells like the plague
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
