so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
Night is still young. Puking guts out part of it just began
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Randomize
