Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
We had sex on a dog bed..
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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