she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Randomize
