Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
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