do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Randomize
