so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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