ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
Randomize
