Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize