I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Terrible idea I love it
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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