I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
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