Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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